


That Sinking Feeling

by joanie1985



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 07:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13072089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanie1985/pseuds/joanie1985
Summary: Robert is working aboard the doomed Voyage of the Titanic in 1912 and as the ship sinks, suddenly he is being rescued in Emmerdale at Christmas time. Is all as it seems?





	That Sinking Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the terrible summary but it's quite hard to explain! The idea is vaguely from a Christmas movie I saw on Christmas 24 called Journey Back to Christmas. 
> 
> I'm dedicating this story to my two friends Shaun (Brokenspell77) and Jase for basically kicking my bum to get this written. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

14th April 1912- Onboard the Titanic

Robert was doing his rounds on the decks of the ship, checking that everything was alright on board. It was late, nearing midnight. The night air was chilly but that was to be expected at sea. As he descended to the lower decks, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He was almost to the third class cabins when he felt the ship shake. He frowned, wondering what the cause could be, but his automatic assumption was that it would be something trivial, so he continued on his way. A few passengers peeked their heads out of cabin doors, inquiring as to what had happened and Robert assured them that it was most likely nothing. In time though, he saw other crew members milling around, whispering to each other. He approached a colleague who informed him of what had happened. Iceberg. They had been told the ship was unsinkable but now it was taking on water, and there was no stopping it. That was when the chaos started.

Everything from then on was almost a blur, he had no choice, he had to help the passengers to safety. That was his job, he didn't have time to think about what that meant until it was too late. The lifeboats were all gone, and he was still onboard. People around him were jumping to the freezing water of the Atlantic below, he was going to die, right here onboard a ship that was supposed to be one of the best experiences of his life. He heard the noise of the ship splitting in two, felt himself be thrown forward as it went under. He grabbed onto a railing as the water dragged them under. He was underwater, he was trying to force himself upwards, to get to the air. The water filled his nostrils, he was choking on it, he needed to get out, but the sinking ship caused a whirlpool of sorts, sucking him and everyone and everything down with it. There was no escape. He had to stop fighting. He closed his eyes and let go, accepting his fate, then suddenly, he could breathe again.

14th December 2017

Aaron was out jogging, it was something he did to clear his head. Things were always so crazy with his family, with his life, that he needed something to focus on. It was mid December so the weather was cold, but he found it quite refreshing. The ground was crisp with frost beneath his feet but luckily there was no ice, and no rain at the minute either.

He was just coming around the lake up by Home Farm when he noticed his lace had come loose and he knelt down to fix it. He had earphones in, so the music coming from his phone dulled any sound, and he wasn't really paying attention. As he stood up to run again, it was only from the corner of his eye that he noticed a disturbance in the water. He looked over, trying to get a better look but saw nothing and assumed it was his imagination, he was just about to turn away again when he saw it again, this time more obvious, movement in the water, as if someone was swimming, but he couldn't see anyone. He moved towards the edge of the lake and it became more obvious that there was something very wrong. He saw an arm reaching for the surface, but nothing else. He didn't wait any longer. He quickly pulled his earphones out and threw his phone aside before diving into the water.

As he went underwater, he saw a man struggling, his clothing caught on some sort of branch or something, whatever was, was stopping him from getting to the surface. Aaron could see he was struggling, the fight going out of him. He swam down further, tugging at material, not caring that it ripped as long as it came free. It wasn't easy, he had to go back to the surface a couple of times for air, but eventually, the stranger was freed, Aaron grabbing an arm and pulling him upwards. It wasn't an easy feat, pulling what was almost dead weight towards the edge of the lake, but eventually he got him onto the bank, he grabbed his phone and called 999 before he began CPR, or what he knew of it. He'd never actually had any training, but he'd seen it done on TV and in films, and it was the only chance this guy had, because right now, he wasn't breathing. Aaron didn't know how the man had come to be in the lake, but that didn't matter, he wasn't just going to sit there and let him die. He had been doing chest compressions for what seemed like forever, but was most likely less than a minute when the man coughed and spluttered, water pouring from his mouth and he turned to his side, breathing heavily, gasping in air.

“You're alright mate,” Aaron assured the stranger, patting his shoulder, “the ambulance is on it's way.”

In fact, he could hear the sirens quickly approaching and he was so glad because he might have gotten the man breathing again, but he would definitely need to be checked over.

The stranger didn't say anything, just continued to try and breathe, shoulders heaving. He didn't even spare a glance when paramedics ran towards him. He was in a daze, he didn't know what was happening. As he was lifted onto a stretcher, he just lay back and closed his eyes.

 

Aaron explained to the paramedics that he didn't know the man, that he'd been jogging and noticed him struggling in the water. They assured him that the man would most likely be okay, thanks to him, before loading him into the ambulance.

Aaron just stood there, watching as the ambulance drove off, in a daze himself. This was not how he expected his day to go. He also couldn't help but wonder if he should have gone with the man to hospital, just so there was someone there. But no. He didn't know him, that would have just been stupid. Creepy even. He'd done his bit. It wasn't his problem.

Shaking his head, trying to shake away his worries, he headed away from the lake. Headed towards home.

************************************  
15th December 2017

Robert lay in the hospital bed, utter confusion playing in his head. He had no idea how he had gotten here, or where here even was. The nurses had told him, but he didn't really understand how he could be in England. He didn't understand any of it really. He could hear beeps and buzzes of machines, things he had never seen before. They didn't have these things in hospitals he had been in before. In fact, he was certain none of these things existed at all.

The people looked different too, the uniforms worn by the doctors and the nurses. Hairstyles and everything, nothing looked like it belonged. You would never see women dressed as they were, where he was from. 

Even the equipment they used when they were doing checks on him, none of it was familiar. It scared him a little bit, no, he hadn't spent a lot of time in hospitals but he knew that they were nothing like this. 

There were no lamps hanging from the ceiling, instead strange lights buzzed overhead. There was something with buttons by the bed which made the bed move, that couldn't be normal. And there was only one bed, not a row across each side of the room.

He had no idea what was going on.

************************************

Aaron didn't know what he was doing here, standing outside the entrance of Hotten General. All he did know was that he had spent the past 24 hours wondering about the man he had pulled from the lake. He felt the need to know that he was okay. His mum, Paddy and Adam had all tried to convince him that he'd done his bit, he'd pulled the man from the water, there was no more that he was required to do. They told him he'd have his own family, that he'd have people there for him. However, it just wasn't in Aaron's nature to not care just because he didn't know the other man. Had never even seen him before. Something had happened to him, and Aaron had been the one to save his life (he hoped he had at least) and he felt the need to check that he was still okay. 

Steeling himself, he headed inside. At reception, he tried to explain who he was looking for, which wasn't easy considering that he didn't know a name, or any kind of details about the man. Eventually though, they were able to find out who he was after and directed him to the correct ward. He walked along the corridor, looking in rooms until he came to the right one.

When he stopped outside the room, he took the man in, he was gorgeous. Aaron hadn't really noticed the previous day but then, it hadn't really been a priority had it? Now though, he took in the blonde hair, the sharp jaw and full mouth. He couldn't see them too well but he was almost positive his eyes were beautiful too. He had the kind of looks that Aaron might once have compared to a Ken doll, but up close, seeing him, Aaron was mesmerised. 

He stood outside for a moment, watching as the man let his eyes wander around the room, he looked lost. He was completely alone. So much for having people there for him like his family had said there would be. Aaron still didn't quite know what he should do though, did he just walk in? Should he knock? Should he even be here? Maybe he should just go. Turn and walk away and leave the man in peace.

He didn't get a chance to decide though as he was pulled from his thoughts by a soft voice

“Hello?”

Aaron looked up, saw the other man staring at him.

“Hello,” Robert repeated, “May I help you?”

************************************

Robert hadn't expected to see anyone outside of his room, except perhaps a doctor. They had told him before that they would check on him again. He'd been lost in his own world when he caught a glimpse of a shadow and when he looked up, there was a man stood there.

A very handsome man. But Robert knew he shouldn't think that. It didn't make it any less true though.

This man looked as strange as everyone else, his clothes are like nothing he has ever seen before. He is wearing all black, but his trousers are made of a material that he has never seen, and his jacket, it was very puffy.

The man had soft eyes and a beard and very nice hair. It was...fluffy. Yes, fluffy was the only word that Robert could find to describe it.

The man seemed to be in his own world too, but it seemed he had been watching Robert too. 

After a moment, when the handsome man still hadn't spoken, Robert decided that maybe he should.

“Hello?” he said, his voice soft, not wanting to scare the man.

When he looked up at Robert, he looked surprised.

“Hello,” Robert repeated himself, “May I help you?”  
************************************

“Um,” Aaron stumbled over his words a bit, “sorry, mate, I um,” he shook his head. “Sorry, I just, yesterday, I pulled you from the lake, and I wanted to check on you,” he explained.

“Yes, um, the doctor did mention something about that,” Robert said with a furrowed brow, “please, come in, perhaps you can help me.”

Aaron looked confused at that as he stepped into the room, “help you?” he asked, “not sure if I can, but I'm sure your family or something-”

“No,” Robert shook his head, “I have no family here. I, I don't actually know where here is. I have no idea how I got here, or why they say I was pulled from a lake, that's simply not possible,” he explained to the dark haired man.

“Mate,” Aaron replied, “I can assure you, you were pulled from a lake, I pulled you out myself, you were caught on some branches under the water, you were stuck. You stopped breathing, I was there.” 

He wasn't trying to frighten the man, but he couldn't tell him a lie either, because that would be daft.

“But I was on a ship,” Robert objected, “at sea, on the way to New York.”

It was Aaron's turn to frown now, maybe the guy had a hit on the head as well as being in the lake, because he wasn't making any sense.

“No, I promise, you were in a lake, in Emmerdale,” he assured him, trying to keep his voice calm.

Robert shook his head, “no, it's not possible, something is not right,” he insisted. Now that he was more alert and there was someone here, actually speaking to him properly, he was really starting to realise it. “Please, you have to believe me, but I don't know what has happened, I just know I should not be here.”

“Hey, hey, it's alright, calm down,” Aaron said, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, he could the man getting more worked up, panicking and he knew that wasn't a good thing because he'd clearly been through more trauma yesterday than Aaron knew. “Just take a breath, yeah?”

“I just, I don't know what's going on,” Robert tried to explain as he tried to calm himself down,”everything is wrong. Nothing makes sense, I should be dead, like everyone else. What is happening to me?”

Aaron felt terrible for the guy, he was clearly in a bad way. Whatever had happened to him, he was confused upset and he didn't like to see that. 

“Just try and stay calm, yeah?” Aaron said gently, “I'll get the doctor, maybe they can explain what's going on.”

It was all he could do really. 

“No,” Robert shook his head, “they won't understand either. This isn't where I belong. I don't know how I got here,” he was calmer now, trying to explain himself. “Everything here is different, the clothes, the machines, the people. They're not right.”

“Mate, it's 2017, everyone is pretty much the same,” Aaron chuckled, “I think you've just had a hit to the head, a concussion or something. You'll be okay.”

Robert frowned deeply, “No, you're wrong. It's 1912.”

Now it was Aaron's turn to look confused, “mate, I can assure you, it's not, it's the 15th of December 2017. Here look.”

Aaron pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his home screen, showing it to Robert.

“What is this?” Robert asked, though he did look at the date.

“It's a phone mate,” Aaron told him, just humouring him right now, not wanting to stress him out any further.

“No,” Robert shook his head again, “this is not possible, it's the 14th of April 1912. I was on a boat, the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, it sank. I was in the water.”

Aaron was so taken aback by Robert's words, he knew the shock must be clear on his face. He didn't want to upset Robert though so he just went to find a doctor, bringing him back to the room.

“He thinks he was on the Titanic,” Aaron explained, “he thinks it's 1912, something isn't right.”

The doctor sighed, looking between the men, “All of our tests have shown that Mr Sugden has been through some trauma. He can't tell us what happened to him, so we can't actually comment on how it has come about. Our best guess is that he's suffering from some form of amnesia. Perhaps he was reading about or watching something relating to that incident prior to the trauma, and we can only hope it's temporary. Because, other than that, and being in the water, he's perfectly healthy, and we hope to be able to discharge him soon.”

The doctor had been speaking to Aaron the whole time, which Robert didn't like. “Excuse me,” he cut in, “but I am right here, and I am not insane. I know who I am and where I was. Something is wrong here, but it is not me,” he insisted.

“Of course, Mr Sugden,” the doctor nodded, attempting to placate him, “I'm sorry, I understand that to you this is the case. We do hope to discharge you, but you haven't been able to give us contact details for anyone, do you have anywhere you can go?”

“I can look after myself,” Robert insisted, “You can release me, I will find out what has happened, I am a grown man. I'm capable.”

Aaron and the doctor looked at each other, it was the doctor who spoke first.

“In Mr Sugden's condition, we really would be more comfortable knowing that he has somewhere to go. Unfortunately, we don't have enough beds to keep him indefinitely if physically he's in sound health. I think perhaps we may have to contact a psychiatric facility.”

“I am not going to an asylum” Robert declared in outrage, “I am in perfectly sound mind!”

Aaron bit his lip, “Doctor, I don't think sending him to another hospital will help him, not if he's not mentally Ill. If it is amnesia like you said, they won't be able to change anything will they?”

The doctor shook his head and sighed, “No, but we may not have any other choice.”

Aaron looked to Robert, the man looked upset, angry even. “He can come and stay with me,” Aaron said eventually, “at least until he remembers something or someone who knows him can be contacted. It's not fair to send him to a psych ward if it's not where he needs to be.”

“Do you even know this man?” the doctor asked.

“I saved his life,” Aaron shrugged, “I can't just leave him like this.”

“Alright,” the doctor nodded, “I'd like to keep him for one more night but then he will be discharged,” he informed Aaron before leaving.

Looking put out, Robert huffed, “You don't have to take care of me, you don't know me.”

“Well it's either that or a psych ward, I'd say I'm your best option,” Aaron pointed out to him.

“What if I don't want to go with you?” Robert asked, defiant.

“Look, mate, right now, it looks like I'm all you've got, so if nothing else, you have somewhere to stay until you figure things out. So let's just deal with it okay.”

Robert didn't say anything. He was clearly still unhappy. Aaron couldn't help but roll his eyes.

“Well anyway, if you're going to be staying for a bit, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Aaron. Aaron Dingle.”

It took a few seconds but Robert looked up. Sighed. Then he replied.

“I'm Robert Sugden.”

************************************

The next day, Aaron returned to the hospital at around midday. He walked to the room that Robert was in, a bag in hand. He knocked on the door before entering, nodding at the doctor who was speaking to Robert. He listened in on what was being said, about how Robert should take it easy for a few days at least, and not to try and force memories, but also not to worry if some returned to him. He advised him to contact the hospital if there was any significant change or concern regarding his condition before telling Robert he was free to go, leaving the room.

Robert looked over to where Aaron stood by the door, then to the bag in his hand, eyebrows raising in silent questions.

“Oh I brought you some clothes,” Aaron explained, holding the bag out towards him. “The ones you had on the other day were ruined, I didn't think you'd want to be going about in them. It's just some trackies and a jumper,” he explained.

Robert took the bag with a soft mumble of “thanks,” before he emptied it of its contents. He frowned at the garments in his hands, they were not the kind of clothes he was used to at all. Noticing his look, Aaron cleared his throat.

“Um, I wasn't sure what you'd be most comfortable in, so I thought this would be best until we got to mine and then we can get you some other stuff to wear,” he explained, feeling a little embarrassed by the less than fancy outfit.

“No,” Robert shook his head, “this is fine. It's just not what I'm used to, but I can wear it. Thank you,” he stood up from the bed, nodding towards the bathroom. “I will just go and change,” he said, taking the clothes with him as he went.

 

Just over an hour later, they were arriving at the Woolpack. It had been an interesting trip, starting from just leaving the hospital room where Robert seemed afraid of the automatic doors and the lifts that “talked.” His utter astonishment at the number of vehicles in the car park, never mind his insistence that cars did not look like that where he was from. Aaron had to keep reminding himself that Robert had some kind of head injury and so genuinely believed all of this. He just wished he knew why he'd chosen such a weird time to be stuck in. He must have been one of those weird history geek types was the only solution that Aaron could come up with. And the doctor had said something about the possibility Robert had been reading or watching something to do with that era prior to his accident.

So with that in mind, Aaron managed to just nod along, explain to Robert when he asked, and let him speak and look around in wonder. As Aaron drove around to the back of the pub to park the car, Robert looked over to him.

“You've brought me to a public house?” he asked with a frown. “The doctor said I should probably avoid alcoholic beverages.”

Aaron chuckled, shaking his head as he put the car in neutral and stopped the engine. “No, we're not here to drink,” he assured him, “I live here.”

“You live in an ale house?” Robert asked.

“Well above it, technically, I guess, and through the back,” Aaron explained as he got out of the car and waited for Robert to follow him. “My mum part owns the place, she and the other landlady live here too, and my little sister.” He looked at the pub, “It's bigger than it looks, come on, let's get inside,” he told him.

Aaron led him to the back door, letting them in, glad when he saw that nobody else was there at the minute. He didn't want to overwhelm Robert too much, because he knew it would be an adjustment for the other man. He didn't even understand the year he was in right now, never mind anything else, and too much at once could be harmful, he worried. 

“So, this is the living room,” he said, then nodded to the next space, “kitchen, everything else is upstairs. I've set a room up for you, I'll show you.”

He headed for the stairs. As Robert followed behind, he glanced around, trying to take everything in. Nothing was as it should be to his mind. The furniture was different, there seemed to be so many items that used electricity. There were so many photographs on the walls and on the mantels, but they were different to any he had ever seen before. It was all strange to him. He followed Aaron upstairs, and to a room with a large bed in it, a bedside table with a lamp, a dresser and some other bits that Robert was unsure of.

“Um, I hope this is alright,” Aaron said to him as he looked around, “it's not fancy or anything but it's somewhere to sleep.”

Robert looked to him, “No, thank you,” he said sincerely, “this is lovely. I appreciate you giving me somewhere to stay whilst I'm recovering, it's very kind of you,” he told him, smiling a little.

“Well I wasn't gonna leave you with nowhere to go, was I?” Aaron shrugged, “especially when it's just over a week until Christmas. Nobody should be stuck somewhere they don't know, with a condition like yours, at this time of year. So really, mate, make yourself at home yeah?”

Robert nodded, “Yes. Thank you, again. Would it be alright if I lay down for a little while?” he asked. “I'm still a little worn out from my...accident.”

“Sure, yeah, of course,” Aaron nodded quickly, “my room is right across from this one and If I'm not in there, I'll be downstairs or in the bar, you can come through whenever you're ready,” he told him. Turning to head out of the bedroom, he was stopped by Robert's voice.

“Aaron,” he said, and waited until Aaron looked back at him, “thank you. Again. For everything.”

Aaron just smiled back at him and left the room to let Robert rest.

************************************

When Aaron had told his mum that he was bringing the man he saved from drowning a few days earlier to stay at the pub, the woman had been less than enthusiastic. After all, they had no idea who he was, what he might be like or what he could be capable of. Aaron was inviting a complete stranger into their house, she wasn't sure she liked that.

He had explained to her the condition that Robert was in, that he had no memories, not of anything that could be remotely possible anyway, she had been even less happy about it, insisting that it must be some sort of con. Aaron had pointed out that he doubted criminals would almost kill themselves to steal a few poxy Christmas presents or the takings from a pub. It was a hell of a story to put on. So she had relented and agreed to having the man stay.

Since then, Aaron had been going around the men in his family trying to gather up clothes that might fit Robert. The man was taller than him so he didn't think much of his would be any good, and now that Robert was 'home' they had all started to bring stuff round. He wasn't sure what Robert would think of some of it, Marlon didn't exactly have the best taste in clothes, but he figured that the other man needed to wear something and this was the best he could do on short notice without going out and buying him clothes which he had no intention of doing right now.

So while Robert was resting, he went through all of the stuff that had been brought over, picking out the best stuff, because some of it, he just wouldn't even let Robert see. Some of Marlon's t-shirts were especially hideous. He was just folding a load of stuff up when he heard footsteps and he looked up to see Robert come into the living room.  
“Hey,” Aaron greeted him with a nod, “I was just, uh, sorting some clothes for you. I wasn't sure what you'd like, or what size you were so I just borrowed a load of stuff,” he explained as he held up a random shirt.

Robert nodded, walking closer, “these are nothing like the clothes I'm used to,” he said as he looked at the jeans. “I've never seen this material before.”

“What? Denim?” Aaron question, and registered Robert's nod. “So what would you be used to?”

“A day suit,” Robert replied instantly, “and if not, then at the very least some wool trousers and a shirt with a coat.”

Aaron nodded, he was still on this 1912 thing, okay then. “Yeah, sorry, of course,” he said. “Unfortunately we don't have anything like that, I can probably scrounge up some dress trousers and shirts but that's about it,” he looked a little apologetic.

Robert gave a small smile, he knew that Aaron insisted that the year was different, he knew something certainly was, but at least he was trying. “No, thank you,” he insisted, “what you have will do fine. I appreciate having something to wear, it's very kind of you.”

“Well you don't want to be running around in my trackies,” Aaron smiled, “for starters they're a bit short, you're taller than me. Anyway, I was thinking since you're just here, and considering everything, we don't want to rush you into getting out and about, so I've organised to have some tea brought through for us and then we can just watch some telly, okay?”

“Telly?” Robert raised an eyebrow.

Oh yeah, televisions weren't really a thing back in 1912, where Robert thought he was from. So he just smiled,

“New invention,” he smirked, “trust me mate, you'll love it. Grab a seat.”

Grinning, Aaron grabbed the remote and plopped down onto the couch, turning the TV on while Robert got settled, he flicked through the channels until he found what he wanted.

“Alright, now this, is called Top Gear...”

************************************

Aaron had been right, Robert did love the telly. In fact, over the last couple of days it was pretty much all Robert had done, constantly flicking through channels to find something to watch. It kept him occupied while Aaron was at work. Robert still hadn't actually ventured out of the back room of pub. He was worried about getting funny looks. He knew what people would be thinking, or he could guess at least. They would be thinking he was insane, that he should be in an asylum. Of course nobody believed him about where he was from, or what had happened to him. Somehow, and he still had no idea how it was, he had ended up in an entirely different time. If he was honest with himself, if someone he had known claimed something like he did, he would think the same thing.

That didn't really help him though. So he had been insistent that he was staying behind closed doors.

Aaron had different ideas though, he had been trying to coax Robert out of the house, telling him it would be good for him. The first day he understood, because he was still recovering but staying inside indefinitely wouldn't help. So when he got home from work and Robert was once again sitting on the couch, he sighed.

“Right,” he declared, “I'm going for a shower and then we're going out into the pub for dinner and then I'm going to show you around the village.”

Robert was taken by surprise to hear Aaron's voice, he hadn't heard him come in.

“I'd really rather just stay here.”

“It's not an option,” Aaron told him, “it's not good for you to be cooped up in here. I get that you're worried, you don't know anybody and you're still recovering, but the people round here aren't that bad, getting out and about can only be a good thing,” he said.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Robert suggested.

“No, Robert, tonight,” Aaron sighed, “look mate, I know I don't actually have the right to tell you what to do, you don't even really know me, but honestly, I'm just trying to help. Nobody knows how long you're going to be like this, and I don't want you to just spend all your time sitting around in the back room. You need to live.”

Robert sighed, he knew that Aaron was just trying to help him. It took him a moment but eventually he nodded.

“Okay,” he agreed, “I'll go.”

“Great,” Aaron grinned, “give me ten minutes.”

Before Robert knew it, he was sitting in the pub, a menu in front of him, looking at various items that he had never heard of. He didn't know what to pick, so he decided the easiest thing was just to go with whatever Aaron chose, which was something called a cheeseburger.

While waiting for dinner, they chatted about Aaron's work, the dark haired man telling him about the cars he worked on. Robert found it strange to hear about those because the cars he knew were so different, he was actually quite interested to see more of them, maybe he'd ask him to show him some time.

He had felt eyes on him since the moment he entered the pub, but people had thankfully left him alone so far. Aaron had warned him that it was unlikely that would continue for long though. He was quickly proven right when a shadow appeared at their table. Robert looked up to find an elderly woman grinning at him.

“Hello dear,” she said, “I'm Pearl Ladderbanks, I work over in the vets. I've not seen you around before, are you Aaron's new boyfriend?” she grinned.

Aaron groaned, biting his lip, while Robert looked confused.

“I'm sorry, his boyfriend?” he asked.

“Yes,” Pearl nodded, “or do you prefer partner?”  
“Pearl,” Aaron practically growled, “Robert is the man I pulled from the lake a few days ago, he's just staying here while he's recovering he doesn't need you on his case.”

“Well I'm sorry,” Pearl huffed, “I'm just trying to be neighbourly.”

“No Pearl,” Aaron told her, “you're being nosy. Like everyone else in here, you'd have all of them told whatever was said the minute you walked away. So here's what to tell them, Robert is someone that needs some help at the minute. He's staying here and he doesn't need you lot stressing him out, alright?”

“Well I never,” Pearl was aghast, “there's no need to be so rude!”

“Goodbye, Pearl.”

As far as Aaron was concerned, the conversation was over and he watched the woman walk away, turning to look at Robert apologetically. 

“Sorry about that.”

“What did she mean?” Robert asked, “when she asked if I was your boyfriend?”

Aaron sighed, he really didn't want this to be one of the things he had to explain to Robert, he knew with whatever was going on, he had forgotten most things but this was just awkward.

“It doesn't matter, just forget what she said,” Aaron told him.

“Did she mean...Aaron are you a homosexual?” Robert asked him.

Aaron bristled, he knew Robert couldn't help it, but that didn't mean he liked hearing the question and not with such shock in someone's voice.

“That a problem?”

Robert shook his head. He knew it was frowned upon, it wasn't proper, was considered wrong. He himself had in the past had thoughts about men, but he had never acted upon them, due to the things he had been told, what he had been brought up to believe and think. He had to remind himself that this was a different time, perhaps here it wasn't like where he was from.

“No,” Robert replied, “I'm sorry, I was just surprised. Where I'm from it's not...” he trailed off and shook his head. “I have no problem with it myself, you've been very good to me, allowing me to stay here. You're a good man, Aaron. That's all that matters to me.”

Aaron gave him a half smile, and a nod. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Robert said. He would have said more but Chas, chose that moment to bring their food. Robert looked at the monstrosity in front of him. His eyes widened a bit. How was he supposed to eat that.

He waited until Aaron did first, and copied him, picking the food item up and biting into it. He groaned, it was possibly the best thing he'd ever tasted.

“This is incredible,” he declared, mouth still partly full of food.  
“Can't beat a good burger,” Aaron agreed with a grin.

Robert only nodded in reply, he was already wolfing down another bite. In fact, not another word was spoken because Robert was focused entirely on eating.

Aaron could only watch him with a smile.

************************************

After venturing out of the back room the first time, Robert wasn't as scared to do it again. Over the next couple of days he had found himself going for walks in the village. He still hadn't spoken to many people but the man in the cafe had been nice enough and given him a free cup drink and cake which had been nice to him. He had even bumped into that woman, Pearl, again, and she had apologised if she'd made him uncomfortable. Everyone he encountered so far was friendly enough.

He supposed it was because people were feeling festive, Christmas was less than a week away after all. People were usually happier at this time of year. He wasn't feeling too festive himself but he supposed that was to be expected under the circumstances. As he walked down main street, he decided to drop into the garage that Aaron said he worked at.

He had found he liked spending time with the other man. Aaron didn't expect anything of him, didn't try to force him to “remember” or tell him he was wrong and that nothing was wrong. He let Robert be. There was an easy friendship developing between them. And if Robert felt a little fluttering in his belly sometimes when Aaron smiled, well, that was allowed here. It wasn't as if it was something he had to admit to anyway.

He walked up the gravel path, seeing a man older than himself, he had seen him before, Aaron had pointed him out as his uncle and explained that was who he worked for. He came to a stop a few feet away from him and cleared his throat.

“Excuse me?” he said, voice just loud enough to be heard.

The man, Cain he was sure Aaron had called him, looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I'm sorry to interrupt,” Robert said, “I was just wondering if Aaron was here.”

Cain snorted, rolling his eyes, “Aaron, visitor,” he shouted over his shoulder before looking back at Robert, “try not to keep him too long, he's got work to do.”

Robert was about to reply but Cain was already walking away from him, so he just stood there awkwardly, waiting for Aaron, who appeared from inside a moment later, sauntering towards him.

“Hey, what's up?” he greeted.

“I was just out walking and I thought I would stop by, I hope you don't mind, I can leave...”

“Don't be daft,” Aaron assured him, “just wasn't expecting to see you. It's good to see you getting out of the pub though, it's good for you.”

“I thought perhaps you could show me some of the automobiles you work on,” Robert told him, “they're very different to what I've seen before.”

“Sure,” Aaron nodded, “We don't have much in at the minute but I can show you what we've got, come on.”

Aaron led the way up to where some cars were parked at the side of the garage.

“None of these are particularly special,” Aaron told him, “we don't always get the cool cars in here. I worked in a garage in France for a while though, those cars were something, Ferraris and all that,” he said as he came to a stop beside a BMW.

“I find all of these so strange,” Robert said honestly, “the shape, the size, everything. They're so different to what I know. And there are so many, where I'm from only the most wealthy have their own automobiles, but here, everyone seems to have one.”

Aaron listened to him, he always made a point of not correcting him, because he knew that regardless of what was true and what wasn't, right now, in Robert's mind, what he said was his truth and he didn't want to upset or confuse him, so instead he just went along with it.

“Yeah, most people have got a car now,” Aaron agreed, “I'd be lost without mine, buses are a nightmare and they cost a fortune,” he chuckled. “Not to mention they're never on time and it takes forever to get anywhere.”

“What kind do you have?”

“Subaru mate,” Aaron grinned.

“I have no idea what that is,” Robert looked confused.

“Just the make,” Aaron told him, “I'll take you for a spin in it if you like?”

“You mean for a drive?” At Aaron's nod, he smiled, “that would be nice. Thank you. I've never been in an automobile before.”

While Aaron thought that probably wasn't actually the case, he didn't say so, “well maybe I can teach you to drive a bit, you'd enjoy it I'm sure.”

“Perhaps,” Robert nodded. “Anyway, tell me about these,” he motioned to the cars on the lot. 

For the next little while Aaron did just that, showing him different cars, telling him about engine sizes, maximum speeds, the best drivers and all of that kind of information. Robert found it very interesting but he mostly like how enthusiastic Aaron was about it all. His face lit up when he talked about these things, there was an excitement about him. It was really very endearing.

Neither man seemed aware of Cain watching them from inside the garage, they were far too caught up in their conversation, Robert in learning all this new information and Aaron in being the one to teach someone something new. Something he was good at.

If Aaron smiled just a little bit wider at Robert's enthusiasm, and the way that Robert seemed to hang on every word he said, well he was sure nobody noticed.

And if that fluttering was back in the pit of Robert's stomach, well that was nobody's business but his.

************************************

“Right, this is the gear stick,” Aaron explained, pointing to the correct part of the car, “if you're not in the right gear, you're not going to be enjoying the drive, you'll probably stall the car and there's a lot of noise, so watch what you're doing yeah?”

Robert was listening intently, the day after his visit to the garage, Aaron had taken him out for a drive as promised and now they were in a bit of empty land in the middle of nowhere, Aaron trying to explain the basics of driving to him. So far he had learned about the pedals and how to actually turn the “car” on. Robert had to keep reminding himself that's what people here called them.

He was trying to concentrate, but it wasn't always easy, in just the last 24 hours, Robert had found him self noticing with increasing frequency just how attractive Aaron was. He especially liked it when he smiled, something Robert had determined he didn't do nearly enough of. Which was a shame because he had a very beautiful smile. He also appreciated the kindness that Aaron continued to show him, things such as this, taking him on a drive and explaining things that Robert knew the other man probably believed he should know, Aaron was a good man. A very kind soul. That was something Robert was certain of.

He was broken from his contemplation when Aaron shook his shoulder, “Robert, you listening to me?”

“I'm sorry,” Robert said, “I was just trying to take everything in,” he lied, “what did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted to give actually driving a go?”

Robert bit his lip, “are you sure?” he asked, “I never have before. I don't want to damage your car.”

“It'll be fine,” Aaron assured him, “you won't really go out of the first two gears, we'll just drive around in a circle, let you get a feel for it, yeah?” His smile was encouraging.

“Okay,” Robert nodded, offering a a slight smile of his own.

Aaron clapped his hands together and got comfortable in his seat, buckling himself in and waiting for Robert to do the same, having shown him earlier how to do so. He didn't say anything, he just sat there and waited for Robert to turn the engine on which he did after a moment.

“Alright,” Aaron smiled, “now remember what I told you, press down on the clutch,” he gave Robert a moment to do that, “great, now put the car in first gear,” he watched Robert move his hand to the gear stick and he kept talking him through it, “right move it to the left and up,” he reminded him.

Robert didn't say a single word, just gave an almost imperceptible nod of his head, concentrating entirely on the task at hand. He heard Aaron tell him to ease off the clutch a little and put his foot on the accelerator which he did and soon the car began to move but there was a weird sound and then the car shuddered. Robert looked quickly to Aaron.

“Start again,” he instructed.

“What did I do wrong?”

“I'll tell you in a second, start again,” Aaron repeated.  
After taking a breath, Robert nodded and did as Aaron said. He started the engine again, put the car in gear and then waited, looking at Aaron.

Smiling, Aaron reached for his hand, “you just forgot the handbrake,” he told Robert softly, positioning his hand correctly, laying his hand gently of it.

Robert held his breath, the feeling of Aaron's hand covering his own resurrecting the flurry in his belly, and he could feel a slight heat in his cheeks.

“Just like this,” Aaron told him, keeping his voice soft as he pushed Robert's thumb down on the button to release the handbrake and using both their hands to gently lower it.

This time when the care moved off it was much more smooth. There was no crunching, no weird noise, the car just began to gently roll.

It was a good job the car was barely moving because both men were a little lost in the moment, that wasn't broken until Aaron moved his hand and cleared his throat, shaking his head and hoping his cheeks didn't look as red as they felt.

They were, but Robert didn't notice, he was trying to hide his own blushes.

“Eyes on the road,” Aaron mumbled, trying to break the awkwardness.

It seemed to work as Robert turned his head to look where he was driving. He barely went over 10 miles an hour to begin with but soon Aaron had him going up a gear and he was driving in circles happily. A grin spreading across his features. It would seem silly to anybody else, he was sure of that, but this was a new experience for him. His excitement was almost childlike. Aaron enjoyed seeing it. 

It didn't matter right then what was real and what wasn't, all that mattered was that Robert was smiling properly for the first time since Aaron had met him, it was always clear that Robert was questioning everything in the back of his mind, noticing things weren't as he believed they should be because his memories told him so. He could only imagine that it was terrifying to not actually know anything about the world around you. He did hope that whatever was causing this for Robert that it wouldn't last forever, but for now, if he could make Robert smile for now, that was enough.

And the smile on his face right now, well that was everything.

************************************

Later on, after having gotten back from the driving lesson, Aaron and Robert had settled in a corner of the pub, a pint each and were chatting easily. Robert had thanked Aaron repeatedly for taking him out, expressing how much fun he'd had. Aaron had told him it was fine, that he'd had a good time too, but he did enjoy the excitement he saw in Robert. It was different. To everyone else it was just a normal thing, something they did automatically when they reached a certain age.

In truth, Aaron believed that Robert had probably driven before, hell he probably had his license somewhere and a car of his own. The fact remained however that the man had no recollection of it, so it was entirely new to him. So Aaron let him enjoy it and found joy of his own in the other man's delight at the new experiences.

He looked over at the blond and laughed, “you have some foam,” he told him, gesturing to his top lip.

Blushing, Robert wiped it away, “sorry,” he said.

Aaron shook his head, he didn't know why Robert felt the need to apologise for everything. He seemed to feel almost guilty for not understanding things, or for finding a lot of stuff bewildering. It was then that Aaron realised that he hadn't actually asked Robert anything about his life. Or the life he believed he remembered anyway. 

He thought that maybe if he did, perhaps it would encourage some real memories to push forward in the other man's mind and that could only be a good thing for Robert. As much as Aaron was enjoying having him around, it wasn't fair to just hope or expect that he'd never recover fully, never remember anything. Not that he'd been hoping that. He might have entertained the idea that it would be nice if Robert stuck around a bit more permanently but that was all. It was just a fleeting though.

He decided that maybe now, while they were just enjoying a drink together, might be the ideal time to ask him about the life he claimed to remember.

“You know,” Aaron said, “I've never really asked you about your life.”

Robert looked up, taking a moment before he sighed, “I know the doctors, even you, don't believe me,” he told him, “but this really isn't where I'm from. My life, where I'm from it's another time. I have no idea how I got here.”

“Robert, I'm just asking about your life as you know it,” Aaron assured him, “I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just curious.”

Nodding, Robert accepted that, because Aaron wasn't the kind of person to mock him or to purposely try and upset him, he honestly believed that.

“Okay,” he nodded, “well I grew up on a farm but life was very difficult, we barely got by. To be honest, I never really enjoyed the work, and It wasn't where I wanted to spend my life. I had left home and worked In various places in England, mostly in hotels carrying luggage for guests,” he explained. “Everyone was always talking about life in America, how there were so many more opportunities and I wanted that for myself. The tickets were expensive though, so I decided to find another way and I began working as a porter on ships,” he told him.

Aaron didn't interrupt him, he just listened, letting him speak.

“Eventually, I heard about a new ship, the Titanic, it was going to America and I decided that I had to be on that ship, it would be my last job on a ship, because it would get me to the place I wanted to be, I was very lucky and they employed me as a porter. I remember how excited everyone was, even months before the boat was due to leave, because people had been talking about Titanic, unsinkable they called it. Until it did sink,” he snorted a bit. “I was doing my final rounds of the night when it happened, I was checking the lower decks and there was an almighty shake. Nobody thought anything of it at first, but then the panic began. It was our job to make sure the passengers got to safety, or as many as possible at least. It wasn't nearly enough. There weren't enough life boats. Some crew members were able to get in one but most of us had to stay on the ship. We prayed that help would come but it was hopeless.”

Aaron watched the emotions play on Robert's face, the confusion, the fear, it was all written there. It was so evident that no matter what, Robert genuinely believed every word he was saying, this wasn't something he was making up, this was the life he was certain belonged to him.

“The last thing I remember before waking up in that hospital bed was the water pulling me under, I could not get to the surface, it was a force stronger than any person that just sucked you in, further and further towards the bed of the ocean, I was dying. I know that I was. Just like everyone else, all those people around me, all hope was gone. And then the next thing I know, I'm awake, in a hospital, in a place that I don't know. In a time that's not my own as much as everyone might insist it's an injury and that my mind is confused, it's not. I still don't understand what's happened. I have to believe that there was a bigger plan, but I don't know what that is. I shouldn't be alive. I shouldn't be here.”

He was starting to become a little bit hysterical, so Aaron reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

“It's alright, Robert,” he told him, trying to calm him down. “I believe you, and no matter what happened, however you got here, it doesn't matter, because you're alive, yeah? You're safe here.”

“Safe,” Robert breathed out. Nodding a little, looking across the table and into Aaron's eyes.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “safe. I promise.”

************************************

It was now only three days until Christmas, Robert had been staying at the pub for almost a week but it seemed like longer. The previous night, after telling Aaron about his life as he could remember, the two men had sat in the bar just talking. Aaron deciding that since Robert had told him what he wanted to know it was only fair for him to share about his life too. He'd left some things out obviously but he'd told him about coming to live in Emmerdale, his job, the usual details. It's not that he didn't feel like he could tell Robert more, but why go in to more detail than was really needed, it was nice to have light conversation and just get to know each other.

The more they talked, the more Aaron liked Robert, he'd thought it before, but every time he saw how interested Robert was about hearing about all these “new” things, how infatuated he became with the information, it warmed his heart. He had no idea though that the man across the table was feeling similar things.

As they had ended the night, Aaron had mentioned that he was going to head into town the next day to finally do some Christmas shopping, asking if Robert wanted to join him, but the other man had turned down the offer. He could imagine it would be very busy in the stores, and really, if he was honest, that worried him. He was still a little anxious being around too many people when there was a lot he didn't understand.

So today, while Aaron was out, Robert had sat around in the bedroom he currently called his, watching out of the window at the flurries of snow that fell outside. It had only been a little bit at first, but as time had gone on it had gotten heavier, and it was lying thick on the ground. Robert had loved the snow as a child, he used to run around the fields with his sister, making snow angels and building snowmen. As he'd gotten older, he'd had to work out in the fields more than play in them, so the snow just became a hindrance to what needed to be done to keep the farm going, to ensure they had a livelihood. Then when he had left home, he'd been on his own and he had to be a grown up, and work to earn a living of his own. His childish love of snow was left behind him.

It was past lunch time when he finally decided that he no longer wanted to sit inside and watch the snow, something inside him urged him to venture out into the cold. So he found a coat that Aaron had given him, and put it on, stuffing his hand into the pockets, he went downstairs and headed out through the bar.

“Robert? You alright, love?” he heard the female voice of Aaron's mum, and he turned to nod at her.

“I'm just going to take a walk,” he explained.

“You'll freeze out there,” the woman told him, “you're still recovering.”

“I'll be fine,” he offered a smile, “I won't be gone for long.”

“Alright,” Chas sighed, knowing she couldn't actually stop him, but also knowing Aaron would kill her if anything happened to Robert, “just come straight back if you don't feel right, okay?”

“I promise.”

That was all Robert said before hurrying out of the pub.

Once he was outside, he inhaled deeply, turning his face upwards to the sky, letting the cold flakes of snow land on his eyelids, nose, cheeks and lips. He savoured it actually. He stood like that for a few moments before he began to walk.

It wasn't the first time he'd walked through the village, but he'd never paid much attention before, now he let himself take in the decorations that were up all around him. The wreathes on the doors of the houses. Maybe it was the snow that made him take notice, it made everything feel more like Christmas and so he noticed those details. A young woman hurrying from one of the cottages offered him a smile as he passed and he was surprised by how much she reminded him of his sister, older of course, but something about her, made him think of her. He walked all the way to the bridge that overlooked the river and he stood there, elbows on the edge, just looking at the water as it flowed along. The snowflakes being carried away and he found himself wondering how long it would be until it froze over.

Eventually he made his way back, the snow still falling around him but not as heavy as before. He was glad of the deep pockets in the coat he was wearing because otherwise his hands would have been frozen by now, as it was they weren't exactly warm. When he reached the pub, instead of going back inside, he went over to one of the picnic benches, wiping the snow from the seat before sitting down. He was enjoying the quiet, just being on his own, with his own thoughts even if he wasn't really thinking about anything in particular. 

In fact, only one thing kept coming back into his mind over and over again. Someone, more specifically. Aaron. It was strange to him, how quickly he had bonded with the other man. It was even stranger that he wasn't scared of it. Before the accident, and ending up here, he would never have even contemplated expressing an interest in a man, he might entertain it in his own mind but nothing more than that. But here, it was okay, people were accepting, it really was such a different word. That was something he had thought of so many times in the days since he had woken up n that hospital bed. 

He didn't even know if Aaron shared the interest with him, if he felt anything for him. He certainly hadn't suggested that he did, but there were moments, like in the car, or in the pub the previous night when Aaron had laid a hand on his and he felt electricity and wondered if Aaron felt it too. How would Robert even react if he did? He honestly didn't know, having never been in that position before. He found himself lost in thoughts of “What If.” For that reason, he didn't notice anyone coming towards him, nor the shadow before him when the person stood in front of him.

“Hey, you alright?”

Robert was startled back to the present by the voice and looked up, finding the reason for his wandering mind standing there.

“Hello,” he greeted.

“What are you doing sat out here? It's freezing! You'll be soaked through sitting there,” the dark haired man told him with a laugh.

“I took a walk,” Robert explained, “I didn't want to go inside. I used to enjoy the snow.”

“How long have you been out here?”

Robert gave a small shrug of his shoulders, “I don't actually know. I didn't really keep track of time,” he admitted.

“Bloody hell, you'll catch pneumonia,” Aaron told him, “come on, let's get inside, I'll put these away,” he shook the bags in his hands, “you can get changed and then I'll get you a pint.”

The way he said it didn't really leave room for negotiation, and he walked away towards the pub. So he didn't see it coming, the next thing Aaron knew, something hit him hard in the back.

Robert hadn't been able to help himself, as he watched Aaron walk away, that child he'd been remembering all day, the one who loved show, wanted to be let out and before he knew it, he had grabbed a fistful of snow, shaping it quickly into a ball and threw it at Aaron.

Aaron stopped in his tracks, looking back over his shoulder, eyebrow raised, and saw Robert stand there, biting his lip to hold back a cheeky grin. 

“Oh you're gonna get it now,” Aaron warned him, setting his bags down by the doorway to the pub. “I'm not kidding, Robert, you better run.”

While Aaron had been talking, Robert had already made another snowball which he held in his hand, “are you going to stand there talking all day or are you going to actually do something?” he smirked. 

Before Aaron could respond, the snowball in Robert's hand was hitting him in the shoulder, and laughing, Robert ran off. Aaron going straight after him, grabbing fistfuls of snow as he went.

“You're going down, Sugden!” he called as he chased him.

It was war from then on, the two men running around the village throwing snowballs at each other. Hiding behind trees, walls and even cars to avoid being hit. Aaron was faster than Robert but Robert's long legs definitely helped him to at least not be caught by Aaron. Before they knew it they found themselves at the cricket pavilion, plenty of open space.

The two men were laughing heartily, smiles beaming on their faces, and they were definitely out of breath at this point. Neither actually knowing how long they'd been running around. Robert was relentless though, determined not to give in, he'd found a good place to hide and made a bundle of snowballs, looking out from his hiding spot he threw a snowball that hit Aaron and sent him to the ground.

“Hey, that's cheating!” Aaron called, turning onto his back, laughing as he tried to catch his breath. 

Robert emerged from behind the building, he had filled his pockets with the snowballs and had a few in his hands too, stalking towards Aaron, grinning.

 

“Are you surrendering?”

“No chance, mate,” Aaron said, moving to get up but being hit again and sliding back onto his backside again.

“You really should,” Robert told him, “you won't be able to beat me now.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don't need to,” with that, Robert grinned and began to hit Aaron repeatedly with the snowballs he had collected, stopping Aaron from getting up.

Aaron tried to scurry away backwards but Robert continued to advance on him.

“Alright alright!” Aaron declared through his laughter, “you win, I give up!”

“You made the right decision,” Robert chuckled.

“Yeah yeah, help me up,” Aaron grumbled.

Thinking nothing of it, Robert threw the rest of the melting snowballs away and walked over, holding a hand out to help. Aaron looked up at him and took hold of it, but instead of pulling himself up, he pulled Robert down, laughing loudly at the surprised yelp that came from the other man.

“And you called me a cheat!” Robert said in feigned outrage.

“Hey, fair is far,” Aaron grinned, reaching for a handful of snow and smashing it into Robert's hair. 

The two rolled around in the snow for a couple of minutes, playfully fighting as they each tried to get up only to be stopped by the other. Eventually, Aaron was leaning over Robert as the two of them tried to catch their breath.

“Okay, I'm calling a truce,” Aaron chuckled his voice a breathy gasp, “before we both get sick.”

“You just can't admit I beat you,” Robert grinned up at him.

Snorting, Aaron shook his head, looking down at the other man.

Suddenly they were both silent as their eyes met, just looking at each other. Each seeing in the other's eyes what they themselves were feeling. It was like an invisible force pushed them closer together, Aaron bending down at the same time that Robert leaned up.  
Their lips meeting in a soft kiss.

************************************

After their kiss the previous afternoon, (well actually, it had been more than one kiss, it had been quite a few kisses), Aaron and Robert had eventually made it back to the Woolpack, soaking wet from their snowball fight and subsequent rolling around in the snow. Luckily Aaron's bags, filled with the gifts he had bought for everyone, were still where he'd left them outside the pub. It would have sucked if they'd been gone, but he supposed that was one of the advantages of living in a small village, you knew you could trust most people.

Things hadn't been awkward between the two men, but they also hadn't discussed what happened either. They had eaten dinner in the pub, watched some television in the back room, and ended the night with shy smiles as they went off to their separate rooms. Neither knowing that just across the hall, the other was thinking about it, remembering every detail, from that first soft touch of lips to the kisses which became increasingly passionate.

For Robert it had been entirely new, exhilarating, his first kiss with a man. Something he'd never imagined he'd experience and certainly not so openly. He had definitely enjoyed it, and yes, he would like to do it again. With Aaron, of course, because he felt a connection with him that he had never felt with anyone else.

For Aaron, it wasn't a new experience but it had been just as amazing, because the spark he felt with Robert, the magnetic pull he felt between them, that was new to him. He had been in love before, had feelings for people but it hadn't been like this. He'd been surprised that Robert was so open to it, but he wouldn't complain. He didn't know what would happen next, and he wouldn't push Robert, but he definitely wouldn't stop it from happening again either.

Now, Robert was sitting around in the living room of the pub, Aaron had to work for the morning and Robert didn't really want to go out on his own again. He'd spent the morning thinking though and there was something he wanted to do, but he needed Aaron's help with it. So while he waited he watched telly and ate some cereal. Looking at the clock when he heard Aaron arrive home, he knew it was him because he heard his voice echoing back as he said something to Chas, he saw that it was 1pm.

“Hey,” Aaron greeted when he entered.

“Hi,” Robert returned with a smile, “how was work?”

“Same as always,” Aaron shrugged, “but I'm done now until after Christmas so that's good. You been out today?” 

He walked over to join Robert on the couch.

“No but I actually wanted to ask something of you,” Robert admitted.

“Okay, what's up?”

“I want to go to the place you saved me,” Robert said. “I don't remember it and I don't expect that going there will really change anything, but these past few days have been so overwhelming. So much has happened,” the blush that covered his face gave away that he was including the events of the previous day in that, “I feel like I need to go there. I need to see. I can't really say why, but I do.”

Aaron listened, nodding along.

“Okay, um, yeah sure. Now?”

“Yes,” Robert nodded, “if that's alright. I've been thinking about it all morning,” he explained, “but I don't actually know where it is, and considering the circumstances in which I ended up there, or here, I would really rather not go alone.”

“No it's fine,” Aaron rushed to assure him, placing a hand on his shoulder, “just give me half an hour to jump in a shower and change and we'll go alright?”

“Of course, take your time,” Robert insisted. “Thank you.”

He offered Aaron a smile, the other man already getting up to head for the stairs.

Less than an hour later, they were walking towards the river at Home Farm, each with their hands in their pockets, standing close together.

“I was running along here,” Aaron broke the silence they had been walking in, “I was listening to music so I never would have noticed anything if my shoelace hadn't come undone. I had to stop and I just noticed something not quite right, I almost left, thinking I was imagining things. Good thing I didn't huh?”

He motioned with his head down the path to the edge of the lake, pointing to a particular spot in the water. 

“I still didn't see you at first, just ripples in the water, you were struggling and I had no idea until I saw an arm, your arm, reaching out of the water. The next thing I knew, I was jumping in.”

“Even though you didn't know who or what was in there? Or why?” Robert asked.

“It didn't matter,” Aaron shrugged, “someone was drowning, I wasn't just going to stand there and do nothing. Anyway, your clothes were caught on debris underneath, it's what was stopping you from getting free. It took some time to get you uncaught, I had to rip your clothes but that didn't really matter. When I finally got you out, you weren't breathing, I called for an ambulance and gave you CPR.”

“So I was dead?” Robert looked at him, “you literally brought me back to life.”

“I don't think I'd say that,” Aaron flushed pink, “you would have died though, if I had kept running, because nobody really comes by here, not in the winter at least, because a lot of the time the lake freezes over and it isn't safe.”

Robert reached down, touching the freezing cold water, and he could feel it, the sensation of being pulled under, of water filling his lungs, drowning. Except in his mind he can hear the terrified screams of others around him, if he opens his eyes, he can see bodies floating, other people struggling beside him. 

He gasps as he stands up again, sees Aaron's worried face as he comes closer to him.

“Rob, are you okay? What happened? Did you remember something?”

It was the first time that Aaron had said anything to suggest that he thought that maybe Robert had the wrong memories, but Robert couldn't hold that against him, it was what the doctors had told him after all, and it would make so much more sense than the truth. So he just shook his head.

“Only what I said in the hospital,” he told him, “and the feeling of drowning, I remember that, it wasn't a pleasant feeling.”

“No, I don't imagine it would be,” Aaron said, lips quirking up into a half smile. “You didn't though,” he reminded him, “you're here, you're alive. Still breathing.”

“Thanks to you,” Robert pointed out.

“The reason why doesn't matter,” Aaron shrugged, “just that you are.”

“It matters to me,” Robert replied, “things may be strange right now, I may not understand a lot and I may not know what will happen, but I am glad to be alive, I'm glad that you saved me.”

“Me too,” Aaron smiled, “Not glad I saved you, I mean, I am, obviously, but I meant glad you're alive,” he shook his head at himself.

Robert was just laughing softly at Aaron confusing himself.

“It's alright, I knew what you were trying to say,” he promised him, “I want to thank you anyway, for being there that day, for thinking me worth saving even though you didn't know me.”

“I'd have thought anyone was worth saving,” Aaron shrugged, “I am glad it was you though,” he admitted.

“I am too,” Robert smiled, “so again, thank you.”

“No problem,” Aaron laughed.

They shared another small smile, “may I kiss you again?” Robert asked.

“You don't need to ask,” Aaron laughed, and didn't say anything else, he just took hold of the front of Robert's jacket and pulled him towards him, smashing their lips together.

This kiss was much less tentative than the ones they had shared previously, now that they both knew that the other felt the same, that they were both sure about it, wanted it. They let the kiss deepen, tongues play against each other as hands cupped faces and wrapped around each other.

They didn't know how long they stayed there like that. They weren't keeping track. They were too busy feeling alive.

************************************

“Come on it'll be fun!”

Robert looked at the ice in front of him, eyebrows raised, there was no denying that the people skating around seemed to be enjoying themselves, but that didn't make him any less apprehensive. They'd only been there a couple of minutes and he'd seen one or two people fall, and though they got straight back up and carried on, he had the suspicion he'd spent a lot of time on his own rear end.

“I don't think so,” he told Aaron.

“Oh come on! Don't tell me they don't have ice skating where you're from?” Aaron teased.

“They did.”

“You're telling me you've never gone ice skating? Really?” Aaron raised his eyebrows this time.

“Like I told you before, when I reached a certain age, there really wasn't time for frivolity,” he shrugged, “this would have been considered that.”

Aaron nodded, then smirked, “admit it, you're just scared you're gonna fall,” he grinned.

“Well yes, that thought had crossed my mind also,” Robert admitted.

“Well you will.”

“Well that filled me with confidence,” Robert snorted.

“No point in me lying,” Aaron shrugged, “but everyone falls the first time they skate, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be fine. You might even enjoy yourself.”

“Or I could break my neck, which after being saved from drowning a week ago would seem unfairly ironic, I get rescued from a lake to die on a frozen one.”

Aaron laughed heartily at Robert's protestations. 

“Okay first, it's not a lake, so you're safe,” Aaron told him, “and second, live a little, I won't let you die, so come on, it's Christmas Eve, we need to have some fun, get your skates on,” he winked.

Robert did want to argue more, but he had the feeling that he couldn't win, Aaron was determined to get him on the ice. He looked at all the people already skating once more and they really did seem to be enjoying themselves, there were lots of smiling faces, laughter and cheer. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

“Fine,” he grumbled, “but if I end up back in hospital, I will be blaming you.”

“Understood,” Aaron laughed, walking over to the little trailer that was posing as the skate rental counter. Requesting the correct sizes and heading for a bench by the entrance to the ice rink, sitting down and handing a pair over to Robert when he joined him.

A few minutes later, skates securely fastened, Aaron stood, watching and trying to hold back his laughter as Robert hobbled towards the ice, arms flailing by his side as he attempted to stay upright.  
He managed it until his first foot touched the ice and then he was on the ground and Aaron could no longer hold back the laughs.

“It's not funny!” Robert complained from the ground. That only made Aaron laugh more, but he moved to help him up.  
“You just need to find your balance,” he assured Robert.

“Or I could just get back on less slippery ground,” Robert shot back.

“Well you're on the ice now, what would be the point?” 

“Not dying?” Robert suggested.

“You're so dramatic, you're not gonna die,” Aaron rolled his eyes, “come on.”

He skated out onto the ice a bit and waited for Robert to join him. It was entertainment in itself. Robert fell at least half a dozen more times, his lanky limbs making him extra awkward on the ice. Aaron did feel a little bit bad as he watched Robert try to reach him, but mostly he just found the whole thing hilarious. He did help him up though. Most of the time at least.

Eventually, Robert was able to stay up right, and even take a few tentative steps on the ice, but he wasn't really in a rush to try much more than that. Aaron literally skated in circles around him, grinning as he did so. He was showing off and they both knew it. Robert might have found it secretly quite attractive but at that precise moment he was supposed to be annoyed with Aaron.

Eventually, Aaron stopped messing around, and grabbed hold of Robert's elbow. 

“Okay, it really isn't that hard,” he promised, “so just keep hold of my arm for now yeah?” he offered.

Robert looked suspicious, but did as he was told.

“Okay, now just copy me, watch my feet.”

Looking down, Robert followed his instructions, copying the movements that Aaron made. His grip on Aaron's arm was tight, not letting go for a second. His movements were still very wobbly to begin with and it must have taken them about ten minutes to do a lap of the rink the first time but he did stay upright so he considered that a win.

After a little while he had gotten the hang of it, he probably could have let go of Aaron, but he didn't. In fact he made it seem deliberately like he was still struggling a bit so that he didn't have to. Not that Aaron would have made him anyway.

They skated around like that for about an hour or so before it began to get tiring, and cold. The sky darkening slowly around them, so they returned their skates and decided to get hot chocolate before heading back to the village.

As they walked along to the coffee place Aaron liked nearby, he spotted something in the corner of his eye and a thought struck him.

“Hey um, I just remembered something I need to grab across the street really quick, why don't you go in and get our drinks and I'll meet you back out here?” he suggested, pulling his wallet out, handing Robert a £10 note.

He could see the wary look on Robert's face, and he did understand, this was the first time Robert had been in a shop on his own, and it wasn't a big deal to most people but under the circumstances it would be to him. Giving his arm a comforting squeeze, Aaron went on.  
“Just ask for 2 hot chocolates with everything and tell them to keep the change, alright?” he said. “I won't be long, and I'll meet you here.”

Reluctantly Robert nodded and turned to go into the coffee shop. Thankfully the queue was quite long, and Aaron waited until Robert joined the end of it before turning and jogging across the road to do what he needed to do.

When they arrived back in Emmerdale a little while later, drinks finished and Aaron's errand run, it was dark and the village was lit up.

“Can we take a walk?” Robert requested when they got out of the car. “I haven't actually seen the village in the evening, with the lights and everything.”

“Sure,” Aaron nodded, to him it wasn't that exciting, he was used to it now. But if it was what Robert wanted to do then he was okay with it. 

They walked away from the pub and down main street, Aaron pointing out different houses to Robert, businesses too, laughing about the colours of some of them and explaining how typical it was of the people who lived there to have such decorations.

Robert was a little bit in wonder of it all, Aaron could tell, his face was so expressive that it was impossible not to see it really.

“Where I'm from, the decorations were nothing like this,” Robert breathed as they stopped at the end of main street, in front of the bed and breakfast was as done up with lights and wreaths aplenty. “We had wreaths and garlands of course, but not lights like these, everything was so much more simple.”

“You mean less tacky,” Aaron grinned.

Robert frowned, “No,” he shook his head, “I like the decorations you have here, they're much more interesting. Some are very over the top,” he said for want of a better phrase, “but they're fun. I like that.”

“You should see the ones some people have,” Aaron laughed as he began to walk again, “over the top is an understatement for them,” he told him.

“Can you show me?”

“I don't think we really have any around here like that,” Aaron said, “though you will see the inside of my uncle's house when we go for Christmas dinner tomorrow, and it's not exactly subtle,” he told him.

“I'm going to have dinner with your family?” Robert seemed genuinely surprised by that. Aaron and his family had been kind to him, but he hadn't expected to be invited to their family Christmas.”

“Course you are,” Aaron told him, “you didn't think we were going to leave you alone on Christmas did you?”

“Well I didn't like to presume.”

“Idiot,” Aaron said fondly, “of course you're coming for dinner. I need to sneak a kiss under the mistletoe if nothing else.”

Robert blushed and they walked along in silence for a moment. Robert fighting the urge, or trying to at least, to reach out and take Aaron's hand. They knocked together a few times as he reached out and then changed his mind. He hoped Aaron didn't notice, or just thought it was an accident.

Aaron did notice though, his eyes turning down to glimpse the movements every time Robert seemed to be about to take the risk and change his mind. They weren't far from the pub now and he didn't want to let the moment pass. So the next time Robert hesitated, Aaron took the initiative and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. 

They turned their heads to face each other, smiling softly as they made their way back home, hands joined.

They didn't notice Chas in the door of the pub, watching them.

************************************

When Robert woke up on Christmas morning, he was a little disoriented, not anything unusual at the minute but even more so than every other day, the reason being that the colour of the room her was in was different. That and there was someone else in the bed beside him. He turned a little and saw Aaron beside him, and he smiled to himself. Nothing had happened, just some kisses, they had fallen asleep holding each other, it was nice. He hadn't felt like he was doing something wrong like he might have before, in fact, it felt like it was exactly right. He liked it here. Both here in the sense of the time he had found himself in and in the sense of lying right there with Aaron.

The morning had passed quickly once they had both roused from bed, shy smiled passed between them, a quick kiss before going downstairs to join in the Christmas day festivities. Aaron and his mum had exchanged presents, and Robert had been given some too, some clothes of his own from Aaron and Chas. He had apologised extensively for not having gifts for them, he didn't have any money. They understood but he still felt bad, he tried not to let it get to him though.

By lunch time they had arrived at the Dingle home, Wishing Well Cottage is what Aaron had called it. Inside it was exactly as Aaron had described it, an explosion of colour and decorations. Nothing really matched, but Robert liked it, it was very homey. Lived in. Most of all, everyone there loved each other, it radiated from them, they were a real family, and that was what mattered really. Robert had sat back as more gifts were exchanged but they definitely went out of their way to include him. Which he appreciated. 

While everyone was milling around the living room, Robert was sat on the couch, just taking everything in, it was slightly overwhelming but he was having a good time. He felt someone sit down beside him, and turned his head, expecting to see Aaron, so he was surprised when instead it was Chas who was sitting beside him.

“Having fun?” the woman asked.

“Um, yes, thank you,” Robert nodded.

“Good.” Chas said nothing for a moment, but she never could stay quiet for long. “So, what's going on with you and my Aaron?”

“Excuse me?”  
Chas just gives him a look.

“You and Aaron,” she repeated, “and don't say nothing, because I saw you two last night, holding hands, walking around the village.”

Robert's face flushed red. He wasn't really sure how to respond, didn't know what Aaron would want her to tell the woman, if anything.

“Perhaps you should speak to Aaron.”

“I'm asking you,” Chas told him.

“I don't really know what you want me to say,” Robert said meekly. “I can't deny anything, you saw what you saw, I can't pretend otherwise.”

“No,” Chas agreed, “but that doesn't tell me much other than that you fancy each other at the very least. Are you sleeping together?”

Robert almost choked at her question. Coughing loudly.

“I'm sorry, but I don't think that's any of your business.”

“He's my son, he is my businesses,” Chas countered, “it's my businesses when he risks having his heart broken.”

“I'm not going to-”

“You could,” Chas cut him off, “I don't dislike you Robert, but the fact is, you don't really know who you are right now, one day you might remember a life you have somewhere and go back to it, and Aaron is the one who'd be left devastated, not you. I don't want that for my son.”

Robert sighed, “I don't know what exactly is between Aaron and myself right now, what I do know is I care for him. He has been kind to me, and that's something I'll appreciate for the rest of my life, no matter what happens between us.”

She sighed, “I just don't want him hurt.”

“Nor do I,” Robert told her.

Chas looked like she wanted to argue more, but she caught Aaron coming towards them, so she got up and walked away. 

Neither of them had noticed Aaron watching him from the corner of the room, wondering what they were talking about. He could see that Robert was uncomfortable but he didn't want to butt in either, after a couple of minutes though when he could tell it wasn't a happy kind of talk, he decided it was time to go and save him. His mum left when she saw him coming and he took the seat she had just vacated.

“What did she want?” 

Robert shook his head, “Nothing important.”

“Robert, seriously, what is it?”

He sighed, “she saw us holding hands last night,” he admitted.

“Ah,” Aaron said, he could imagine how the conversation had gone then, “so she was giving you the third degree,” at Robert's unknowing look, he clarified, “questioning you.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Ignore her,” he told him, “she forgets I'm an adult and can make my own decisions and to keep her nose out, don't worry alright?”

“I'll try,” he agreed.

“Good, now come on, time to eat,” Aaron grinned, giving his knee a squeeze.

The next couple of hours were spent squeezed around the dining table stuffing themselves with food. It was amazing, some of the best food that Robert had ever tasted. He had seconds, like almost everyone else. Then there was dessert which was just as good. They pulled crackers and told jokes, there was lots of laughter and fun. It was the kind of Christmas that Robert hadn't experienced in a long time, not since he was a young child could he remember enjoying a Christmas as much as he was enjoying this one.

Even when after dinner they decided to play a game of Charades, even though he couldn't really participate because he didn't understand the references, it was still enjoyable, because there was just so much silliness that you couldn't help but join in the laughter.

When it came time to leave, it was dark outside, and Aaron and Robert were both smiling widely. They said their goodbyes, wishing a final “Merry Christmas” to everyone else who was still drinking and having fun. They were settled in for the night but the boys had definitely had enough.

As they walked, Aaron had asked Robert if he'd enjoyed his day which he assured him he did. Robert kept feeling at the inside pocket of his jacket, feeling the weight of what it held, well the metaphorical weight. Aaron eventually noticed and asked if everything was okay.

Biting his lip, Robert stopped walking, “It's your Christmas present,” he admitted, “I didn't want to give it to you when everyone else was there, and really it's silly, it's home made since I didn't have any money but I wanted to give you something, but now I think maybe it's a bad idea,” he rambled on.

Aaron reached out and touched his arm to calm him down.

“You've told me about it, you need to give it to me now.”

Robert looked around, they were almost at the pub, where there was some light, so he nodded, “over here,” he said, walking over to the pub doorway. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper which he handed over.

He watched with worried anticipation as Aaron unfolded it, not knowing what to expect of the other man's reaction.

Aaron opened up the paper and took in its contents. There in front of him was a detailed pencil drawing, it was very clearly the cricket pavilion, covered in snow. It was obviously a scene from the other day, when they had their snowball fight as there, lying on the snow covered ground was him. His own laughing face looked up at him. There was so much detail, every little thing was perfect, and he could feel the emotion in his chest.

“Robert this is-”

“I know it isn't anything special, but I wanted to give you a present,” Robert explained.

“It is special,” Aaron insisted, “it's amazing. You drew this for me, that makes it more special than any other gift I've ever had.”

The beam that lit up Robert's face was everything in that moment.

It was beginning to rain, so Aaron carefully folded the drawing and put it in his own pocket before speaking, “I actually have another gift for you,” Aaron admitted, “but I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone either.”

“You didn't have to give me anything else.”

“I wanted to,” reaching into his own pocket, he pulled out a box and handed it over.

Opening it up, Robert admired the gorgeous silver wrist watch inside.

“Wow, Aaron, this is too much.”

Shaking his head, Aaron reached and took the watch out, turning it round and handing it back. Robert noticed that there were words engraved on the back and lifted it closer to his face so that he could see. Smiling when he read the words.

'This might not be your time, but maybe it's our time. Love, Aaron.'

Looking at Aaron, Robert saw him looking nervous.

“I love it,” Robert said softly.

“I mean it,” Aaron motioned to the watch, “I really like you, Robert. I mean, I know it's been crazy but I feel like we have something.”

Robert smiled, leaning in and initiating a kiss this time. It didn't last long, it was just a soft brush of lips really before pulling back. The rain was really coming down now, both of them quickly becoming soaked through to the skin but neither of them cared as they stood there, looking into each others eyes, Robert bringing his hands up to cup Aaron's face as he made his proclamation.

“I feel the same,” he promised. “The doctors may think I don't really know who I am right now, and I definitely don't know how I ended up here. But one thing I do know is that I never want to go back.”

************************************

18th October 2016

“Come back to me!”

The words were being yelled as Aaron pumped at Robert's chest, trying to revive his boyfriend. They were both soaked through, it was cold and Aaron himself wasn't in the best state having just dragged Robert from their sunken car, but that was the last thing on his mind right now, all he knew was that the man he loved had almost drowned, but he wasn't losing him, not now and now like this.

“Come on Rob,” he muttered as he continued the compressions, “you have to come back to me.”

Relief swept over him his boyfriend suddenly began to splutter and cough, water pouring from his mouth.

“Aaron,” he gasped.

“It's okay, I'm here,” he promised, watching as Robert collapsed back again, eyes closing but at least he was breathing. He was pulled back as paramedics rushed to them, and everything else happened in a blur, the next thing he knew he was in an ambulance, holding Robert's hand as sirens blared and they rushed towards Hotten General.

Hours passed in slow motion before Robert was out of surgery and he was able to sit by his bed and hold his hand. His mantra of “come back to me” continuing.

Robert could hear the words almost in a haze as he slowly came to, eyes opening, he felt the hand holding his, and he glanced to the side, seeing Aaron sat there.

“Oh thank God,” Aaron breathed, “thank God you're okay.”

Robert offered him a small tired smile, “I'm okay,” he breathed, “I'm here.”

“Don't ever do that to me again, alright?”

“I promise,” Robert squeezed his hand.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” Robert said, “tired, groggy but alive.”

“Good, that's good,” Aaron nodded.

“I do have one thing to say though,” Robert said.

Aaron raised an eyebrow, expecting Robert to bring up his earlier impromptu proposal, he didn't get what he anticipated.

“When you speak to your mum, tell her we're never watching Titanic again.”

**Author's Note:**

> So there it is! I really hope you liked this!
> 
> You can find me on twitter @joaniew1985 or tumblr @sugglesmiles
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments etc are appreciated!


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